Counting

The other day, my oldest son showed up a little late for an event.  Not uncommon for a busy teenager.  He then explained that he was late because a hubcap fell off his car, and someone behind him, saw it fly off, watched it roll away, and wanted to let him know where he could find it.  My teenagers share the greatest car ever!  It was a gift!  And though it is a tad worn, it just keeps going each week, as we fill the tank with love and appreciation---- and a little gas, when funds allow.  So, I asked my son what he said to the man who told him of the plight of his missing hubcap?  He looked at me surprised, and said, "I said Thank You, I need that hubcap!!  I ONLY have one on that side!!!"  My son's response stopped me dead in my tracks and caused me to ponder!!  Though this car may seem old to the onlooker, my son values it and had "counted" and he knew a hubcap was already missing------ the thought of losing another was simply out of the question!!

 The story tells of the shepherd who had 100 sheep.  He "counted" only 99.  He loved his sheep enough to leave the 99, momentarily, and go find the one.                                                                                

And, when the wandering lamb was found, the shepherd rejoiced and threw him over his shoulders and carried him.  He loves his sheep enough to "count" them often.  During his ac"counting", he realizes one is missing and that becomes an immediate priority ------ and, a great lesson for all of us parents, grandparents, favorite aunts, teachers and mentors of every kind ------- he did not bring him back scolding or lecturing.  He did not seem to belittle him regarding his choice to wander.  Nor did he appear to pile up the punishments, nor rub his nose in his mistakes.  And, I bet that lamb felt loved, in spite of his decision to wander, as he lay on the shoulders of he who "counted!"

It was a cold winter night, just weeks after my husband left.  I remember being numb from the weather of the season and from my circumstance.  My sweet 8 year old was curled up, asleep beside me.  The other 3 kids were all out for various events.  Just as curfew approached, my phone began to ring with requests to pick up my sheep.  I looked at my youngest lamb, safe and asleep, wondering how I was going to leave the One, and go pick up the three, who were "counting" on me.  As midnight quickly approached, I seemed frozen by my new predicament as a single mother!!  I KNEW I was the shepherd to my children-----their ONLY shepherd that night.  My kids were "counting" on me, so I decided to "count" on Him!!! As I thought of the lamb over the shoulder of the shepherd, I grabbed a sleeping bag, and bundled up my little lamb, and with strength beyond my own, and an attitude to match, I carried my one to the car, and on that snowy night, picked up the other three, who were "counting" on me.  Amid the darkness and the cold, that night, I realized that  "counting" would be crucial over the next few weeks, months and years.  Not so much that I was being "counted" on as a single shepherd------ but that "counting" on Him would be my greatest source of inspiration and strength, to navigate the unfamiliar roads ahead.  And, my heart was filled with warmth as I realized that I too, was being "counted" and cared for, by divine design, by various hearts and hands.

That night, I realized why "counting" sheep helps us fall asleep.  "Counting" often  those we are responsible for, called to lead, in a position to teach, guide and influence, gives us the peace we need, to allow our minds and hearts to rest.  Thus giving us that unseen strength to keep "counting and the patience and inspiration required as we are "counted" on!!!   "Counting" sheep helps me remember that not only is my family "counting" on me,  but the ultimate Shepherd is there, for ME to "count" on.  There are days when I come home rejoicing with a lamb, or two or three on my shoulders, after a hard day.  Then, more often than not, I have those days when I feel like I don't matter or "count" to anyone, that the weight of those "counting" on me seems almost impossible to bear!  It is then, that I realize, I am the lamb being carried, by the Good Shepherd, who is always "counting!" A hubcap so treasured!  Not just a number!  A good night's sleep and sheep! On His shoulders! Carrying! Counting!!

Miracles

    Miracles can heal, give sight, health and strength.  And, more often than not, miracles are surrounded by challenges.  Miracles often indicate that something holy is taking place.  Perhaps, the real miracle is our ability, at that moment, to SEE a stepping stone amidst a sea of stumbling blocks, and courageously take one step at a time, into the unknown.  Christ walks on the water.  Peter also, miraculously walks on water---- all while the storm and winds rage. The life of Christ himself.  His ministry full of miracles.  Yet, also full of challenges, or stumbling blocks----- mocking by the unbelievers, tempting by the same adversary who tempts us, physical challenges of being beat and spat upon and then, the requirement to take up His cross. And, even moments of feeling alone.  Yet, through all these challenges, Christ ministers, serves, heals, and teaches.  A life of challenge!  A life of holiness! The child who is healed of cancer, but the family left with thousands of dollars in medical expenses in the seeking of such a miracle.  The miraculous survivors of a plane crash, yet a lifetime of scars and burns and challenges, which seem to surround the miracle---- and must be faced each and everyday.  So, in a strange sort of way, challenges may even be an indication of a miracle soon-to-come!!  I think of Mary, and her carrying the baby Savior---- truly a miracle!!  But, she must have been stared at.  She may have even felt different or outcast. Perhaps, she even felt like she did not fit in.  Yet, she carried inside her, a miracle!!!

My teenage daughter had asked me, a couple of times throughout the week, to get her a bucket of sand.  I believe, to leave with a note for a friend.  Needless to say, this bucket of sand did not seem to make it to the top of my "To-Do List."  Getting kids to school and various events, accomplishing everyone's homework, keeping up with dishes and laundry and keeping everyone's emotion's in check seemed to be more the priority.  A few days in a row, this persistent daughter would leave notes, with faith in me, that I could not only find the time, but find sand.  So, the night she needed it arrived.  I got home about 10pm.  And, on the kitchen counter was a colorful empty bucket, a small shovel and a note of pleading, from daughter to mother, "Mom, please fill this with sand!!!"  My sweet friend and I looked at each other and grabbed the bucket.

 We jumped in his car and I said a silent prayer, "Help!  I need a miracle! I need sand!"  The sand was not crucial, but my ability to help my child was.  We decided to head to a park where there might be some sand under a swing.  We rounded the corner, in the dark, and made our way to the main entrance.  As we entered the parking lot, a large something stopped us in our tracks.  We turned on our high beams, then looked at each other, stunned.  There in front of us, in the middle of the parking lot, late that night, far from any beach, was an enormous pile of sand!!!!  We quickly filled the bucket and headed back to the house.  I KNEW beyond any shadow of a doubt, that pile of sand was a miracle!!  A miracle amidst a week of finals and challenges that come with being a single parent.  That pile of sand testified that miracles are real, everyday, if we look for them!!  He CAN move mountains.  But, more often than not, the mountain he moves is within us, motivating us, empowering us, encouraging us to keep going and not to quit!!  "A pile of sand", has become our name for miracles!  We find "piles of sand" throughout our week, in the gas tank that lasts a little longer than it did when our wallets were full, in the call from a friend just when you felt forgotten, a note on your pillow when you were empty, and the text from a friend telling you to stay in school just when you were ready to give up.  I believe that with every miraculous "pile of sand", I am reminded not only of my higher power, but that I matter to Him----- and that is power!!  I believe that miracles are often surrounded by challenges......and that it could be just around the corner, right when you are ready to give up.  Miracles are often surrounded by challenges-----which means you are not on the wrong track, but exactly the right one.  Miracles often mean something holy is taking place.  Challenges often pave the way for miracles.  I believe that just around the corner, when you least expect it, and when it doesn't make sense, we may find the perfect "pile of sand!"   I believe in being strong, even when everything seems to be going wrong!!
 I believe in MIRACLES!!   

Together

It was Christmas time.  As I studied for finals, I began to write our family Christmas letter.  I have always enjoyed sharing some of the highlights of the year with friends and family.  But this year was different!  Our 2012 letter marked the third letter I wrote, ending with myself, no husband, no "we", no "us" and no "together."  As I wrapped up our annual letter, I did some soul-searching.  Did I like being by alone?  Was I becoming so used to being by myself that I would not have room in my life or my heart for anyone else?  Was I too afraid of being hurt again, to ever give anyone else a chance?  Was the fear of failure greater than my faith in any future opportunities?

I longed to be somebody's favorite!  I missed being cared about after spending the day caring about everyone else, as we mother's do.  I so loved being a wife, a companion, a best-friend, a confidant.  I missed hearing the garage door go up in the evening, after a long day, and being so excited to just be "together" again.  So, as 2012 came to a close, I went to my knees and really poured out my soul to my Heavenly Father.  I told Him that though my heart and my family were healing, there was still a hole or void.  I was alone and didn't like it one bit!  I acknowledged my weaknesses as a single mother.  As hard as I tried to do it all, to be it all--- this was a job that was divinely designed for two.  And, if He would help me, I was ready to be a team again. 

One day, while working on this very blog, I was reconnected with an old friend from home.  We had grown up together in the same ward for many years.  We attended the same high school and went to seminary together.  We laughed a lot, helped each other with homework and even went to a couple dances together.  He was married as I entered the MTC to serve a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  We had not heard from each other since.  However, as we reconnected, we quickly realized that we were both divorced, and had been living only 30 miles apart for over 25 years.  We picked up right where we had left off.  We realized we both love dried mangos, mint chip ice cream, peaceful music and Mexican and Italian food.  We also realized that though we had experienced different challenges, much of our pain and hurt were very much the same.  The empathy we felt for each other was profound.  Instantly, we felt spiritually and emotionally connected.  And, that hole in my healing heart has been filled and running over!  We both could feel His hands lifting us, bringing us together, and working many mighty miracles along the way. 

Dating is yet another Family Change.  You find yourself experiencing teenage feelings with very real adult responsibilities.  Your own children are asking you questions that your parents did, years ago.  Though awkward at times, dating has proven to be a learning experience for us all and has opened the door to many conversations with my kids that would not have happened any other way.   Blending families is and will continue to be yet another Family Change.  But, I testify that if two people want to be "together" bad enough, and they have the Lord on their side, it is possible to beat the odds, combined life's experiences and interests and make it work---- together. 

August 8th, he and I will be married.  Together, we will work on strengthening our relationship while helping our families strengthen theirs---- together.  As we experience yet another Family Change, together, we will be ready to climb any mountain that presents itself along the way.  We are well aware that it will take time and effort.  We are well aware that it will not always be easy.  We are well aware that there may be some bumps in the road along the way.  However, we are equally aware, that nothing can be more challenging that doing it all alone.  And, I am confident that nothing will prove to be more rewarding than continuing our journeys as a team.  "Together" we can do anything!!!

I will close this post with the last few words of my 2012 family Christmas letter:  "It's not about surviving......it's about LIVING!!!  It's choosing to make lemonade out of the lemons in life.....so that those around us will want to make lemonade too!!!" And, with our pasts, it should be no surprise that we both love lemon things!! Often times, after some of the hardest challenges and most difficult trials,  Families can Change for the better!!!  It takes two!  We are making lemonade.... Together!!

Fences

As Families Change, it is so easy to put up "fences." Consciously or subconsciously, we begin to fence-in and fence-out people, help, feelings and even emotions.   I absolutely love the story of the Widow of Zarephath, in the Old Testament.  Elijah enters the city and finds the widow "gathering sticks".  Sticks perhaps for a fence of sort.  In actuality, she is gathering sticks to build a fire that she might prepare a final meal for she and her son, who are starving to death.  Starving, no doubt,  physically and spiritually.  She is a widow, indicating she has suffered the ultimate Family Change, the loss of a beloved spouse.  Her emptiness is indescribable.  Financially destitute.  Emotionally empty.  Spiritually void.   Most likely, feeling betrayed even by that Higher Power she felt would see her through any and all life's challenges.  But now, feeling that perhaps that same God she had trusted has forsaken her, by taking away a most priceless possession--- a family member.  This feeling of betrayal by one's Higher Power, is definitely a "fence" or a wall we put up during hard times in our lives.  It is human to want to blame somebody for our circumstances.  So, in our quest for fault or reason, we fence Him out------ He who often times, is our only hope for renewal and healing.  We even fence out He who paid the ultimate price for each of us, that we need not suffer as we are------ for He already did!  Yet, the "fence" goes up.  We stop praying because of our anger with Him.  Then, completely out of the habit, we have created quite a sturdy "fence" of stubbornness between we and He!  Elijah reminds the widow and us all, when he asks, as she is in the depths of despair gathering sticks, to fetch him a drink of water.   Not just turn the sink on, in her sadness and fill up a glass.  But, broken hearted and weak, to go to the river and fill a vessel.   A great symbolic lesson given, that there may never be a better time to head to our source of living water than when we are in the depths of despair.  Elijah, in his desire for a drink invites the widow to take down her "fence" and follow him.   She responds and heads to her water source, in the prophet's behalf.  Then, Elijah asks her to also bring him something to eat, some bread.  She reminds him of her state of ultimate poverty, and even tells him that she only has a "handful of meal" and  a "little oil" left to feed her son.  He responds to the widow and to each of us, to take down our "fences" as he bids her to FEAR NOT.........then he promises her, that if she will make food for him first, then for herself and her son, that she will be blessed with plenty of nourishment for the future.  Profoundly so, when we reprioritize our lives, and put the Lord first, and even have the courage to serve when we are suffering, we are blessed with MORE than we had before. 

 

The story of the Widow of Zarephath, reminds each of us, that Families Change, and as they do, so must we!!!  Her family was not a perfect family with a father and a mother and a house full of healthy children.  Her family was a single parent home with a weak mother and a sick son.  And, it took a visit from a prophet of God to help her remember her core values and trust in her Higher Power again.  In the words of the Old Testament, the widow "went and did!"  After my husband left, I found myself thrust into a crazy life of hurt, pain, fear, and utter caos---- not to mention assuming the life of a full-time college student with a couple part-time jobs and being a full-time mother of 4 children, who also had broken hearts that needed my attention and love.    I found myself soon becoming a "fence" builder.   I "fenced out" many friends, as seeing their families and their resources were a constant reminder of those things I no longer had.  I "fenced out" events that would have filled my barrel and cruse.  I "fenced in" my children, afraid to let them go, out of fear of possibly losing them to the challenges this life currently offers.

 I remember vividly coming home from a study group, late one night.  A neighbor had brought dinner to my children in my absence.  I drove home empty, much like the widow, with nothing to give and barely a crumb for myself and my children.  I remembered there was a meeting at the church, that evening.  I felt so weakened by my trials and so empty at the loss of my husband, that physically, I could hardly move.  As I walked down the road to the church, I felt much like the widow as she headed to her water source.  When I arrived, the meeting had already begun.  I looked in the window and every seat was taken.  I thought about my options----- quietly unfolding another chair, sitting by someone that I did not know, or perhaps someone who knew me too well, and their eyes of pity I could not bear.  So, I turned and walked back home.  I did not fill the vessel for Him who could have healed me and blessed me and made my situation easier to bear.  That night, on my knees, I promised my Heavenly Father, my Higher Power, that I would NEVER put up another fence between He and Me!!!  I needed Him more than He needed a vessel of water or a cake.  I NEEDED the blessings that would come from serving, from putting Him FIRST and foremost in my life again.  I needed the blessings my whole family could receive----------- I knew that night, that if I tore down the "fences" that I had built , that our barrel of meal would "waste not" and our cruse of oil would NEVER FAIL!! 

 

Tearing down "fences" does not happen overnight.  Day by day, I have made a conscious effort to pray, to call and visit friends, to serve others and to allow others to serve me, to put other's needs before my own, making Him a priority in my life again, like the Widow as she "went and did."  Fearing Not has allowed me to become Faith Filled............... and the view, without fences,  makes it so much easier to see where we are going, and who we are going there with!! 
Fear Not!  Be Faith Filled!! No Fences!!!

Hands

Hands!!! Without speaking a word, hands tell a story, express emotion, lend support and offer love and friendship, safety and security.

I remember being a young mother, and a close family friend had lost their infant son to SIDS. I soon found myself sitting in the upstairs room at the mortuary with their sweet family.  Watching this mother cradle the body of her little one, as molds were made of his hand in hers---their hands testified to me that families are forever,  a testimony I would need, at a much later time, as families change.   Some years later, I sat in a hospital room, holding the hand of a little 3 year old friend who had just suffered a near drowning accident hours prior.  Her eyes were closed, her body seemed limp and lifeless, yet her spirit, so big and strong, filled the room.  The shock of this event  robbed me of any spoken words, I took her hand in mine, and began to sing If The Savior Stood Beside Me.  With every word and note, I not only knew the Savior would stay by this sweet toddler's side, but that He would be my side, as families change.

The morning after my husband left, a loving Relief Society president walked up the driveway, with her hands outstretched to me.  Her hands signified only the beginning of lifting, loving, serving, feeding, comforting and inspiring.  Her helping hands, along with many others, carried me through much of my journey of family change.  Such hands motivated me to use my weak and feeble, hurt and tired hands to help others,  in an attempt to capture the powerful spirit of helping hands, which fills both the giver and the receiver.

A few weeks after finding myself a single parent, the feelings of hurt and abandonment took over my heart.  I had just made it through another day, though the dinner dishes still covered the kitchen counter. I could feel the loneliness, hurt, anger and sorrow filling my soul, so I quickly slipped away  to my room, and quietly crumbled in the bottom of my walk-in closet and just began to sob.  I was not sure how I would make it another day.   It all hurt too much, seemed too hard and just so unfair!!  Then, I turned my head to find my teenage daughter standing in my closet.  She reached out and took my hand in hers, and lifting me to my feet she said, "Mom, let's go to the temple!" With her hands, she wiped my tears, picked out the perfect dress and even zipped my boots and buttoned my coat.  I don't remember a lot about the temple that night, but I will never forget the hands that lifted me and brought me there.  The hands of my children have continued to be a strength and motivation as I walk through the refiner's fire, climb the mountain of divorce ----- in hopes of coming through this family change, bigger, better, stronger..............with the hopes of using my hands to help, lift and inspire others, as their families change.



I can often be seen riding a bike, put together by the hands of my daughter and son-in-law for a Mother's Day surprise.  Every time I ride it, I think of them.  I remember the day, hand in hand, they began their eternal family.  I see the fun they have together, the support they are to one another and the incredible love I feel from them and for them.  Their hands have inspired me to want to have a hand in mine again!  Their hands have helped me see beyond the hurt, fear and betrayal, and to open my heart again.  And, his hand fits in mine perfectly!!!
                                                                                                                

                                                                      

                                                                                                        

As families change, it is easy to throw our hands in the air in frustration and fear, doubt and anger.  Or, to put our hands in our pockets and just give up.  As families change, may we remember to put our hands together in prayer and allow that higher power to lift us out of darkness.  As families change,  may we welcome those who have been sent by Him, to be His hands, through support, love and service.  Remembering His hands, the prints of nails in our behalf, the ultimate gift of love and service---all so that we do not have to feel the pain and suffering of family change------ as He already has!!  Through His hands, the price has been paid-------He does make up the difference!!!  "Go into the darkness-----and put your hand in the hand of God."  Loving hands.  Lifting hands.  His hands.  Unseen Hands!!

Healing

If you look carefully at this picture, you will note two handsome sons, one irreplaceable son-in-law and two beautiful daughters.  Amber, to my right, recently suffered a softball accident.  And yep, she took a blow to the face.  She is a tough kid, and actually felt pretty cool taking one for the team.  However, with prom looming around the corner, the thought of healing was on all of our minds.

No matter what type of family change you experience, healing will be part of the journey.  I think the most difficult challenge I have had as a single mother, is trying to help keep the hearts of my children knit together in love, unity and conviction, while my own heart has taken a blow for the team!!

Sunday, I realized that prom was 6 days away, and Amber's face still needing to heal.  I prayed that day, for her sweet little face.  "Please don't let her scar!"  "Help it heal quickly!"  "Don't let it sunburn in the meantime as she continues to spend many hours outdoors."  "PLEASE help me know what more I can do!"  That night, I was washing my own face, I quietly sent one last prayer to the heavens, "I will take her pain---- if thou will just let her heal."  My eyes were immediately fixed on the tube of cream in my hands--- "Vitamin enriched" face cream to help nourish my skin.  If it helped my skin, perhaps it would help hers.  So, immediately up the stairs I went, face cream in hand, and gently smoothed it over the bruises, scabs and broken skin.  After 3 days, the change has been remarkable.  And, though she was already a beauty, if the next couple of days continue, she will be healed for prom.

This caused me to ponder my own healing.  Sometimes, we need a prom, or a reason to heal.  Going to bed each night alone, can be a challenge.  And, getting up each morning, to do it all over again, ALONE, can be even a greater challenge. Prom was motivating to do all we could to help my daughter heal.  In times of family change, we need to find the MOTIVATION to heal---- a reason to want get up each day, and do it all over again.  Healing requires extra care and action.  One morning I woke up, headed to the street that I cross guard for the morning shift.  My heart was heavy and my mind was racing as legal issues and incredible financial pressures weighed heavy on my mind and my heart.  I came home, traded my reflective vest for a back pack full of books for school.  I headed out the door, and just plain ran out of steam!  I could feel my already broken heart beating faster and faster as the pressures of the day mounted.  I took off my back pack, sat on the floor, there in front of the garage door, and cried, unsure what to do.  I decided my heart needed some extra care, that day.  And, I needed a day to heal.  I did not touch my school books.  I did not go to class.  I called in sick to work.  I read an old journal, looked at old scrapbooks and even cleaned out a couple of drawers that had not been touched since my husband left.  I began to feel his books, smell his familiar smell.  I touched his scriptures that were still in the nightstand from months prior, that last night he had read in our bed, next to me.  Tears again, began to run down my face, almost uncontrollably.  My heart hurt for what I once had.  Then the thought flooded my mind, if I was hurting, that meant I could still feel!!!!  This was empowering to me.  If my heart could hurt, it could also feel joy.  Suddenly, I had found my MOTIVATION to heal!!  I wanted to feel again!  To love again!  And, most of all, to be loved again!!  With a spring in my step, I put on some of my favorite music and danced in the kitchen and sang at the top of my lungs, while I made sugar cookies for a friend.  Just taking action to provide some extra care for my weary spirit and broken heart, began the process of healing.  That day was truly "vitamin enriched"!!!

I BELIEVE that hope is the realization that hurt is not permanent!!!   I realized that it's OK to cry----- and often times, those tears clean our eyes and increase our vision and ability to see and prepare for what lies ahead!!  Those tears of sorrow reminded me that I was not beyond feeling and I was motivated to feel again!!!  And, all healing takes time and extra care.  It does not happen overnight!  It does not happen alone! I need Him--- my higher power, to apply His healing balm that heals broken, empty and lonely hearts!!  We need each other!!  I need YOU!!  I believe that I can heal and feel again and that MOTIVATES me!! Feeling!  Healing!!

*** Pictures of prom will be posted after April 20th*** so that we can all witness HEALING!! 

HEALING BEAUTIFULLY INSIDE AND OUT!!!  MIRACLES!!

Different

As I sat down with my kids, one by one, and explained to them that their father had left, their different ages created very different reactions.  Some felt abandoned.  Others overcome with anger and disappointment.  Some sat in shock, while others shouted and cried.  However, one resounding similarity, from the 8 year-old to the 18 year-old was this.  "I feel DIFFERENT!"  Family Change definitely has a way of making us feel different.  Whether we have lost a parent and are keenly aware of everyone else who has theirs.  Or, a miscarriage or loss of a child, and suddenly, as if in bold print, the world seems to be full of all the people who have theirs.  Chronic illness and addiction can make us feel different.  Divorce or death of a spouse and suddenly, all we see are perfect families, seemingly unaffected by family change, possessing that comfort and companionship we once knew.  We feel different because somehow we feel like we failed.  We feel different because of the way we might be viewed by others.  We feel different because we are not sure who we will rock to sleep, and how we will ever close our eyes again without them.

One tender night, as my little guy struggled to hold back the tears, I felt impressed to sit down with him and make a list of all the things that would NOT be different.  I took out a piece of paper.  On the left we wrote, "Before Daddy Left".  On the right, we wrote, "With Just Mom."  Then, we discussed some of his concerns----- what time would we get up in the morning?  Would we still go to school?  Would Mom still be there when we got home?  Would we eat Coco Pebbles for breakfast?  Would we still do Saturday chores? (he really tried to get out of that one!)  Would we go to Scouts, Pack Meeting, Soccer games, Softball games, school carnivals, parent-teacher conference, Basketball games and church?  Would we still be able to have friends play at our house?  We kept track of our answers on our sheet.  Our discovery filled us both with hope and peace.  The majority of the week would remain unchanged, with a few minor exceptions.  We decided Mom would make sure the garbage cans were out on Sunday night.  And, the boys  would shovel the snow and mow the lawn.  Would we all  miss Daddy?  Of course!  However, we both learned that though our biggest fear was feeling that all would be "different", when in reality, much of what mattered to a child would remain the same.  This list created a calm security in us both.  He knew he could count on tomorrow to much the same as it had been today.  His worries were able to be replaced with healing.   And, for me, that night, being "different" became,  Be Dedicated and Be Determined!!  Dedicated to those things that matter most!  And,  determined to make each day as normal as possible, with the hopes of magnifying our desire to press on!!!  Happiness comes when the things we believe in are NOT different from the things we do!  Though we may feel that Family Change makes us different, it really creates common bonds with many who are struggling with similar challenges.  Thus, giving us opportunities to reach out in love, wisdom and compassion because of our different journeys!!  Just a few months ago, I overheard this same little guy, comforting a friend experiencing divorce, "Don't worry, you'll still have the same food and you still have to go to bed on time!"  Different?  Dedicated!  Determined!!