Wednesday, April 9, 2014

By Their Fruits....

A few weeks ago, I was having a really hard time!!  I felt like I was spread so thin between so many obligations, that I was not able to accomplish any of them like I would like to.  The house was sort of clean, the laundry was sort of done, and the kids were sort of happy.  I ended up with an evening with no one home.  (Which, in house with 6-10 kids, does not happen very often).  There I stood, in my sort of picked up home, with homework that was sort of done, and thought, "Forget it!!  Why bother?" If you can relate, stand up and yell, "Amen sister!!"  For weeks, it seemed, all I could see were my weaknesses........the things I did not get done, the appointments I had missed and the many things I had not yet accomplished.  The adversary truly is a magnifying glass of negativity!!  The more weaknesses I saw, the bigger they seemed, and failure and emotional breakdown was right around the corner.  As I stood there in my empty house, I decided to just walk out the door and take ride and visit my married daughter.  I just popped in and we had so much fun.
She is having a baby soon, so she showed me the crib and all it's fixings!
 They live in a one bedroom apartment, so this process did not take long.  She showed me how she had creatively organized her ever-so-small closet to accommodate she and her husband and the new arrival.
 She then, lifted up the crib skirt and showed me the diaper and wipe storage area, in bins the exact size to fit.  A small, old book shelf had been converted into the baby's dresser with fabric boxes of booties, bows and binkys replacing the shelves of books from her childhood room.  I looked around her home and found that every room had received the same tender loving care, and each item had it's place.  And, on the walls were pictures from her wedding framed in old frames that were painted from the second-hand store, remodeled within a newlywed budget, to adorn their first palace together.  Suddenly, I felt a warmth run through me like no other, and the words, "by their fruits, ye shall know them.." filled my heart!   Someone had taught this young mother-to-be, the many ways to make a house a home.  Someone had taught this beautiful new wife how to be frugal yet fun.  Someone had taught her some organization skills, and some cleaning skills to boot.  Perhaps, I had been part of such a miracle?  Maybe all those things I had "sort of done", really had made a difference?  And, when I felt the spirit of love in her home, it just quietly whispered to my heart, "all your sort-ofs, were just enough!"

That night, as I drove home to my empty house, my heart was full!  I decided that then and there, that I had given far too much power to the adversary and allowed my mind and heart to be full of so much negativity that I could barely make it through each day.  When we are weak and our energy is at an all time low, it is not a Diet Coke that we need.  We need to realize the real Rockstar that lives within each of us.  Mothers are crucial in maintaining the spirit of the home.  Because of that, we wear a target on our backs, each and every day, inviting the adversary's firey darts of depression, low self-esteem, lack of motivation, feelings of failure, and doom and gloom.  Each is a formula for disaster, and so the adversary wins!!  I realized that I need to be better, smarter and stronger.  I have started a new pattern for beginning and ending each day.  As I lay in my bed, and just prior to getting up, I think of 3 great things I have done, or been a part of.  Just three great things is enough to fill my tank with ample positivity to get through the day, and even spread a little on my way.  Sure, are all of my kids perfect?  They are all just as imperfect as I.  Have all of my kids gone on to make the decisions I would hope?  Nope--- just as I am learning, so are they.  But, there is something within each and everyone of them that is good, that is of me, and, that is of Him........and that is enough.  So, when I am down, and wondering if I have done any good, I try to remember, "by their fruits ye shall know them," then I look no further, for in each of their goodness, is a little bit of ME!!!  And, within each of their goodness........... is a part of YOU!!!
 And, suddenly, rather than the failures flourishing in your mind and heart, it is their smiles, their accomplishments large and small, it is their goodness and divinity that grows and fills our tanks of positivity to make it one more day....... and even smile along the way.  "By their fruits......."