Thursday, April 18, 2013


If you look carefully at this picture, you will note two handsome sons, one irreplaceable son-in-law and two beautiful daughters.  Amber, to my right, recently suffered a softball accident.  And yep, she took a blow to the face.  She is a tough kid, and actually felt pretty cool taking one for the team.  However, with prom looming around the corner, the thought of healing was on all of our minds.

No matter what type of family change you experience, healing will be part of the journey.  I think the most difficult challenge I have had as a single mother, is trying to help keep the hearts of my children knit together in love, unity and conviction, while my own heart has taken a blow for the team!!

Sunday, I realized that prom was 6 days away, and Amber's face still needing to heal.  I prayed that day, for her sweet little face.  "Please don't let her scar!"  "Help it heal quickly!"  "Don't let it sunburn in the meantime as she continues to spend many hours outdoors."  "PLEASE help me know what more I can do!"  That night, I was washing my own face, I quietly sent one last prayer to the heavens, "I will take her pain---- if thou will just let her heal."  My eyes were immediately fixed on the tube of cream in my hands--- "Vitamin enriched" face cream to help nourish my skin.  If it helped my skin, perhaps it would help hers.  So, immediately up the stairs I went, face cream in hand, and gently smoothed it over the bruises, scabs and broken skin.  After 3 days, the change has been remarkable.  And, though she was already a beauty, if the next couple of days continue, she will be healed for prom.

This caused me to ponder my own healing.  Sometimes, we need a prom, or a reason to heal.  Going to bed each night alone, can be a challenge.  And, getting up each morning, to do it all over again, ALONE, can be even a greater challenge. Prom was motivating to do all we could to help my daughter heal.  In times of family change, we need to find the MOTIVATION to heal---- a reason to want get up each day, and do it all over again.  Healing requires extra care and action.  One morning I woke up, headed to the street that I cross guard for the morning shift.  My heart was heavy and my mind was racing as legal issues and incredible financial pressures weighed heavy on my mind and my heart.  I came home, traded my reflective vest for a back pack full of books for school.  I headed out the door, and just plain ran out of steam!  I could feel my already broken heart beating faster and faster as the pressures of the day mounted.  I took off my back pack, sat on the floor, there in front of the garage door, and cried, unsure what to do.  I decided my heart needed some extra care, that day.  And, I needed a day to heal.  I did not touch my school books.  I did not go to class.  I called in sick to work.  I read an old journal, looked at old scrapbooks and even cleaned out a couple of drawers that had not been touched since my husband left.  I began to feel his books, smell his familiar smell.  I touched his scriptures that were still in the nightstand from months prior, that last night he had read in our bed, next to me.  Tears again, began to run down my face, almost uncontrollably.  My heart hurt for what I once had.  Then the thought flooded my mind, if I was hurting, that meant I could still feel!!!!  This was empowering to me.  If my heart could hurt, it could also feel joy.  Suddenly, I had found my MOTIVATION to heal!!  I wanted to feel again!  To love again!  And, most of all, to be loved again!!  With a spring in my step, I put on some of my favorite music and danced in the kitchen and sang at the top of my lungs, while I made sugar cookies for a friend.  Just taking action to provide some extra care for my weary spirit and broken heart, began the process of healing.  That day was truly "vitamin enriched"!!!

I BELIEVE that hope is the realization that hurt is not permanent!!!   I realized that it's OK to cry----- and often times, those tears clean our eyes and increase our vision and ability to see and prepare for what lies ahead!!  Those tears of sorrow reminded me that I was not beyond feeling and I was motivated to feel again!!!  And, all healing takes time and extra care.  It does not happen overnight!  It does not happen alone! I need Him--- my higher power, to apply His healing balm that heals broken, empty and lonely hearts!!  We need each other!!  I need YOU!!  I believe that I can heal and feel again and that MOTIVATES me!! Feeling!  Healing!!

*** Pictures of prom will be posted after April 20th*** so that we can all witness HEALING!! 



  1. Debbie, Your blog and your experience has touched me dearly. I am so sorry that you are having this trial. You are an amazing woman and I know that you have had the most amazing answers just by praying. Heavenly Father is with you. You are the strength of your family and you have always been an amazing mother. Your children will praise your name always. I am so thankful for your example of prayer. Father is in the details of your life and all of ours. He will never leave you because you will never leave Him. You will heal! The Atonement is amazing and it will go to the very depth of your sorrow and lift you to greater happiness and joy that you have yet to experience. I am so proud of you. We need more women like you. Thank you for showing us how human you are and yes we need to cry. It is very healthy. Because you let go of some of that bottled tension and sadness look at the perspective that you gained and you found a reason to dance. Continue on in Faith and know you are surrounded by people who care and a Father who loves you! Love Janalee Hess

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