Monday, June 24, 2013

Together

It was Christmas time.  As I studied for finals, I began to write our family Christmas letter.  I have always enjoyed sharing some of the highlights of the year with friends and family.  But this year was different!  Our 2012 letter marked the third letter I wrote, ending with myself, no husband, no "we", no "us" and no "together."  As I wrapped up our annual letter, I did some soul-searching.  Did I like being by alone?  Was I becoming so used to being by myself that I would not have room in my life or my heart for anyone else?  Was I too afraid of being hurt again, to ever give anyone else a chance?  Was the fear of failure greater than my faith in any future opportunities?

I longed to be somebody's favorite!  I missed being cared about after spending the day caring about everyone else, as we mother's do.  I so loved being a wife, a companion, a best-friend, a confidant.  I missed hearing the garage door go up in the evening, after a long day, and being so excited to just be "together" again.  So, as 2012 came to a close, I went to my knees and really poured out my soul to my Heavenly Father.  I told Him that though my heart and my family were healing, there was still a hole or void.  I was alone and didn't like it one bit!  I acknowledged my weaknesses as a single mother.  As hard as I tried to do it all, to be it all--- this was a job that was divinely designed for two.  And, if He would help me, I was ready to be a team again. 

One day, while working on this very blog, I was reconnected with an old friend from home.  We had grown up together in the same ward for many years.  We attended the same high school and went to seminary together.  We laughed a lot, helped each other with homework and even went to a couple dances together.  He was married as I entered the MTC to serve a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  We had not heard from each other since.  However, as we reconnected, we quickly realized that we were both divorced, and had been living only 30 miles apart for over 25 years.  We picked up right where we had left off.  We realized we both love dried mangos, mint chip ice cream, peaceful music and Mexican and Italian food.  We also realized that though we had experienced different challenges, much of our pain and hurt were very much the same.  The empathy we felt for each other was profound.  Instantly, we felt spiritually and emotionally connected.  And, that hole in my healing heart has been filled and running over!  We both could feel His hands lifting us, bringing us together, and working many mighty miracles along the way. 

Dating is yet another Family Change.  You find yourself experiencing teenage feelings with very real adult responsibilities.  Your own children are asking you questions that your parents did, years ago.  Though awkward at times, dating has proven to be a learning experience for us all and has opened the door to many conversations with my kids that would not have happened any other way.   Blending families is and will continue to be yet another Family Change.  But, I testify that if two people want to be "together" bad enough, and they have the Lord on their side, it is possible to beat the odds, combined life's experiences and interests and make it work---- together

August 8th, he and I will be married.  Together, we will work on strengthening our relationship while helping our families strengthen theirs---- together.  As we experience yet another Family Change, together, we will be ready to climb any mountain that presents itself along the way.  We are well aware that it will take time and effort.  We are well aware that it will not always be easy.  We are well aware that there may be some bumps in the road along the way.  However, we are equally aware, that nothing can be more challenging that doing it all alone.  And, I am confident that nothing will prove to be more rewarding than continuing our journeys as a team.  "Together" we can do anything!!!

I will close this post with the last few words of my 2012 family Christmas letter:  "It's not about surviving......it's about LIVING!!!  It's choosing to make lemonade out of the lemons in life.....so that those around us will want to make lemonade too!!!" And, with our pasts, it should be no surprise that we both love lemon things!! Often times, after some of the hardest challenges and most difficult trials,  Families can Change for the better!!!  It takes two!  We are making lemonade.... Together!!

12 comments:

  1. I am so excited for you!!!! Pure awesomeness! I love ya Deb!

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  2. Oh I am just so happy for you!!!

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  3. Congrats Debbie. So pleased for both of you! I was SO happy when mom told me! Give him a hug for me! ;) Can't wait for the next update!

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  4. Found your blog through Ashlyn's Facebook. Definitely am glad I did! Love your blog. You're an inspiration--no joke! Thank you for sharing your change filled journey :) Oh! And hey...congrats!

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  5. Another great post, Debbie. I'm so happy for you! Can't wait until August!! :)

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  6. Another great post, Debbie. I'm so excited for you! Can't wait until August!

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  7. Congratulations-on an exciting "change!"

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  8. Love it!! Still waiting to meet Brian! Let's get together soon!

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  9. Wow! I am so incredibly happy for you and your family! Hope you are still working at the school?!

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  10. WOW! I am so incredibly happy for you and your family!!!! Hope you are still working at the school?! He is one lucky guy to get to join your great family!

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  11. I love this one Debbie (I love all your posts). I can relate to a lot of the things you said...I'm going through a similar experience right now. I am so excited for your bright and happy future with Brian.

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