Tuesday, August 13, 2013


Yes, I have recently remarried, and since I began this blog, almost a year ago, my quest has been to strengthen those experiencing Family Change, as they read.  But, also to remind us all, that Family Change will be part of all of our lives.  Some marry, children are born, they grow, and soon leave the home-----  all of which create Family Change along the journey.  Then, because of life, our own choices, and sometimes because of the choices of others, we experience profound Family Change-----some of us may experience the loss of a spouse, the dark rejection and pain of divorce, and others may be called upon to bury little ones along this journey we call life.  However big or small, Family Change has and will effect us all.  My hope and prayer is and has been, that something I say might lighten a load, create a friendship, inspire the weary, with the hopes that together, we can come through the refining fire of Family Change, better not bitter.  

As I have been remarried almost a week, I have found my heart and thoughts often turning to those dark times of profound loss.  My husband and I have spoken of those hard times that we endured alone.  We have been reminded of those lonely times, and how our relationships have been strengthened with our children and with our Savior, with such deep connections, that could not have been created in any other way.  I used to think about what type of man would make the "perfect" husband and father for me and my children.  Soon, I realized that a better quest would be, what imperfections would compliment me and mine and those of my children "perfectly.  Perfect might be the imperfection in one and that same skill mastered in the other.  Other times, it might be a willingness and desire to overcome challenge together.  As these two wildflowers, growing together, despite the intense hot desert climate, low moisture, yet these two, overcame the odds, working "perfectly" together.  
On a hike, I was touched by these two.  It was pointed out to me that these were not the prettiest of blossoms------ but I knew, for this blog, they were "perfect!"  One flower appears a little weaker than the other.   But, the stronger blossom, with more petals seems almost proud of it's teammate, its counterpart, its help-meet!!  Together, the make a healthy, whole, brilliant couple of beauty.

Then, along our hike, we ran across this tree.  It made me think, again, about the perfect couple, the perfect spouse.  You can tell that these trees began as two separate trees.  They grew together, almost as one strong tree, in the middle, and then side by side, and straight up.   So, the perfect spouse, is not one without imperfection, but one
with the same "perfect" goals, strengths and desires to succeed together, despite the odds.  Perhaps, one of these trees was weak for a period, maybe even received injury during a storm.  While the other tree, had a period of strength.  These imperfections work together to create two trees that stand straight and strong------even stronger than they would have been alone.  If we turned over the soil beneath, it would not surprise me if the ground revealed roots, intertwined together, creating a foundation to withstand anything that may come along and attempt to destroy their growth and longevity.

I am well aware, that the blending of families ranks right up there with ultimate Family Change.  However, I am also aware, that as the tree and flowers illustrate so beautifully, that together, we can accomplish hard things.   I look back at what we have been through alone.  And, the thought of what we can do together empowers me------ not because we are a "perfect" couple or family, but because we "perfectly" compliment each other with our imperfections.  "Perfect" is not the one who makes the most ---- but the one who helps you make the most out of each day!!!  I have learned that rather than praying for an easy life, I pray for the strength, wisdom and inspiration to endure a difficult one------ so that when Families Change, my family is armed with the necessary power and inspiration to come out on top----- perfectly!!!  Perfect is not without flaw or challenge.  Perfect is the most amazing combinations of imperfections----- to create the perfect team!!  Perfect!!

1 comment:

  1. Lovely thoughts! Congrats on your happy union.