Saturday, February 23, 2013

I am Mom

      One of my biggest worries about becoming a single mom, was that I would no longer be able to give my kids all that I had previously given them.  Priorities would need to be adjusted and some things would just have to go.  I was definitely learning how important it is to appreciate what you have, before you have to appreciate what you HAD.  My time would now be divided between four kids, college, a couple of part-time jobs and homework.  My broken heart would be required to secure the emotional needs of an ever-changing family.  Ironically, over the years, much had been given.  Now, with a fraction of the resources and even less time------ much would be required!  The thought was almost paralyzing.  But, I was "Mom", forever, for always and no matter what!!  With the craziness of college at age 46, and dealing with the emotional carnage that often follows family change, I found myself attending half of pack meeting, the first few innings and quarters of games, the tail-end of programs, and just plain feeling like a failure.  I did not like being late, leaving early, missing events entirely and being grumpy because of it.  I so wanted to give my amazing kids my "all!"  They deserved it.  But, I felt as though my all had been lost amidst this family change, and what I was left with was a fraction of myself. And, my kids, left with a portion of that fraction.  One day, a story in the Bible changed me, comforted me, and flooded me with understanding.  Jesus sat over at the treasury.  He watched as the people would come and toss in their money.  He noticed how the rich gave alot.  Then, a poor widow came and she threw in two mites.  Such ancient pennies almost worthless in their time.   Jesus then tells of how the widow gave more than the rich, as "she of her want did cast in ALL that she had."  Not only was the "mite" acceptable, but He was touched and even moved by her desire to give all she had.  And, how did He know that she only had two mites?  Because He knew her!!!  He knows me.  He knows my desire to give, just as He knew hers.  Tearfully, that account reminded me that somedays,  I "mite" only have little resources,  fewer funds and even less time---- but I can still give my "all".  And, it is acceptable!  I am "Mom", forever, for always and no matter what-------  no matter how much or how little I have, I am "Mom."  And, when I really want to feel rich, I count  blessings that money cannot buy----- and what little I "mite" have, turns into just enough!  And, it is acceptable!!


  1. What an important message--giving our "all" is really all we can do--and our kids love us no matter what!

  2. This is my favorite post of yours so far. Thanks for sharing your new reality and being vulnerable with your struggles.

    I sometimes think that less time and money and energy allows our creativity to flourish. It also definitely helps me appreciate the quiet times, the times of rest, the times I get to connect with my kids. I hate the idea of good mom/bad/mom... but I'm a better me at times when I am aware of doing the best with what I have, and letting the rest go. My kids seem to do better with less hovering and less financial doting as well.

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