Reach

Family Change is definitely a time that we can feel overwhelmed, hurt, alone, abandoned and even spiritually injured beyond repair.  Family Change can fill us with emptiness and loss over all that was familiar, comfortable and good.  Family Change can be an cloud of darkness without any hope of light ever again.  Family Change is a period in our lives when we tend to "reach out" or turn away from that higher power that used to give reason, purpose and hope.

There is an account in the New Testament, about a woman and her "issue of blood."  I have known the story, and the woman's faith is what has always stood out to me, in the past.  However, recently,  I was impressed with yet another aspect of this scriptural miracle.  The Bible indicates, that the woman has suffered 12 years.  And, during those 12 years, she has seen physician after physician and spent everything she has in her quest to be healed and made whole.  How often have we all sought after healing and ways of feeling whole--------- perhaps in that bigger house, the new furniture, the new clothes or the latest and greatest of home decor?  The newest in technological advances?  That prestigious job or position?  The new car?  Or even, the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, spouse, kids and family?  The "if only's" can be all consuming, and thus, we too, end up spending everything we have, in time, our thoughts and resources, in our quest to feel whole and be healed.  This woman finally realizes, after years of searching,  that healing does not lie in anything other than her Savior.  So, she seeks Him.  She finds him in the crowd.

 And, she REACHES...... and touches only the garment of her Savior ------ and it is enough.  She is "healed" the scriptures say.  Did her blood issue completely go away, or was she blessed with insight and courage to deal with the challenges it brings?  Whichever the case, the Savior was the only way and means of her healing process.  Interestingly enough, this same Savior who fed the multitude with a couple of fish and a couple loaves of bread.  The very same Savior who raised Lazarus from the dead.  That same Savior who made the blind to see and gave sound to the deaf.  The Savior could of have just blessed the woman and made her whole, could he not?  However, so pertinent is the fact that she REACHES with her own hand and touches only His garment, and is healed.  So, often times in our lives, we must "reach", we must take action ourselves, in order to receive the full blessings of the Savior in our lives.  We must "reach" for the scriptures daily.  We must "reach" out to Him in daily prayer.  We "reach" as we attend our meetings and we "reach" with each Family Home Evening and Family Prayer.  We "reach" as we courageously share our testimonies with others.  And, we "reach" as we use Sunday to rest from our labors and draw closer to Him------- that we might know Him, feel of His love, recognize His strength and power in our lives.  All so that when we have "issues" that require healing, we know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that if we "reach" out to Him, we too shall be healed.

As an abandoned and broken-hearted single mother, as the mother who gives away her young daughter away in marriage, and even as a recently remarried mother who attempts to blend 12 lives into one-------I have learned that I cannot survive any Family Change or challenge alone.  After my husband left after 20 years of marriage, to pursue an alternative lifestyle, my mind and heart seemed to spiral between hate and anger and the unfairness of "How could this happen to me?"  There were even fleeting moments of thoughts of revenge.  I would go to bed angry.  I would lay awake for hours and ponder my plight.  There in my bed, in the darkness, I would add up bills owed and the lack of dollars coming in, and fall asleep with feelings of fear and hate.  Then, I would wake up in the morning, realize is was not a bad dream, but my reality, and the negative cycle would start all over again.  After a few weeks of this, I realized two things.  The first was that none of these feelings were productive.  All of them were paralyzing!  One day, I heard a song called He Is-------the words and music filled me with love ---------- Love for my kids.  Love for myself.  Love even for he who had placed such a heavy burden on my back to bear, purposefully.  And, love for He who had paid the price for my bitterness, so that I did not need to be consumed by it.  And finally, this song filled me with love for the future and the thought that I could come out of this trial better rather than bitter-------if and only if I could find the courage, through this crowd of negativity and hurt,  to REACH for Him.  So, I knew then and there that music would be key in this refining process of enduring and learning.  I sought for music that lifted my heavy heart.  That testified of truth.  Music that inspired me to be a person that my children could look up to.  And, music that would dissolve such negative feelings before they even had time to grow.  I sought for music that would create a holy place out of our tragedy.  I sought for music that would fill my home and my heart with so much goodness-----that this all-consuming negativity would no longer take root in our lives.
Such music has inspired me to REACH for He and only He who could heal my broken heart and comfort my fear.  He and only He who could fill the emptiness that often times, accompanies Family Change.  And, I have recently learned, that He and only He, as we REACH and make the Savior a part of our lives, can and will help us blend our family of 12 into a unified family of courageous and stripling warriors.   None of these roles can I accomplish alone.  I need Him!  I need His love and peace!  I need His comfort.  I crave his guidance.  I know His promised light in any darkness is sure!!  I know He Is--------- and I will REACH!!!